..WHEREVER YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF IT!

ARRGH! I HAVE SPENT ALL BUT TWO DAYS OUT OF THE LAST TWO WEEKS ON VARIOUS ROAD TRIPS. WE HAVE AUTOMATIC SPRINKLERS WHICH DO WORK (I JUST CHECKED). HOWEVER, HUGE PATCHES OF MY LAWN ARE DYING OUT AND BEING REPLACED BY WEEDS....

ON THE FLIP SIDE, MY GARDEN WHICH IS ADJACENT TO MY LAWN IS OVERRUN WITH GRASS. THE SAME STUFF I CANNOT KEEP ALIVE IN MY LAWN IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ERADICATE FROM MY GARDEN. I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO PLANT POTATOES IN THE FRONT YARD NEXT YEAR.

IF YOU'RE EVER LOOKING FOR PROOF THAT THERE *IS* A GOD, AND THAT HE EITHER DOESN'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH OR HAS A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR, TRY GARDENING!

HA!

SAM
HORTICULTURIST,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

i worked it for years. accept it, or spend the thousands gutting the.existing, bin any old dirt soil, tilled earth, replace with triple mix for lawn and garden, bed the gardens sod the lawn.
two days.
thousands of dollars.
a peach lawn, your result.

or, move to a drought area and rock garden your front lawn. kill anything that dreams of green. growth is a jok(th)

Its always sunny in Philadelphia!!!

It was cloudy here today... so yea, Philly is overcast at times.

That being said... I planted purple potatoes last year. Didn't get many. This year, 12 popped up randomly. Stupid potatoes. Don't want to be eaten, but grow fantastically.

Use very sandy soil, potatoes love the soft sand.

and, also, don;t be irish, them potats hate the irish

SAM DANGER = Mickster


truth.

POTATOES WORK WELL TO EXPLODE GRASS. OTHER CHOICES ARE TO THROW ROCKS OVER THE AREA, SALT THE EARTH (THEN NOTHING WILL GROW), OR PLANT SOMETHING LIKE A RASPBERRY BUSH WITH WILL GIVE A GOOD F*** U TO THAT DAMNED GRASS.
ROCK GARDENS AND PINE TREES ARE EXCELLENT CHOICES TOO.
PERSONALLY I OPT FOR THE BEER OPTION WHICH IS TO PUT OUT A LAWN CHAIR AND HUCK EMPTY BEER CANS IN VAIN AT UNWANTED PLANTS ON MY LAWN

HA!
JOE DANGER
PROPONENT OF THE BEER SOLUTION

samantha danger can have weed-field? its nice to have free supply of weed.

Your neighbor fluffs on his lawn for fertilizer, lol. But seriously dummy, sorry, sammy, you probably just have grub worms. READ IT UP! June is coming! June is coming!

CREST!

HOW WOULD I TALK THOSE WORMS INTO MIGRATING TO MY GARDEN? I HAVE ENCOUNTERED THEM BEFORE (WHEN I WAS TEARING OUT SOD TO CREATE THE GARDEN IN THE FIRST PLACE).

ALSO, LAST YEAR, THERE WAS A TIME (LATE FALL-EARLY WINTER) WHEN THEY INVADED MY GARAGE. LITERALLY DOZENS OF THEM CRAWLING ALL OVER THE FLOOR. WHEN STEPPED UPON, THEY LEAVE A FLUID WHICH LATER TURNS BLACK. I FOUND IT FASCINATING. AND EXHILIRATING!

HA!

SAM

Worms are for fishing, catfish and bass are win!

Thy's been a eaten up by twerms, up by twerms
On Ilkley Moor bar tat,
Thy's been a eaten up by twerms, up by twerms

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR YOUR ADVICE AND WISDOM!

JON, YOU ARE CORRECT THAT WORMS ARE FOR FISHING. THIS CAUSES ME MUCH CONSTERNATION. FOR I HAVE FOUND ONLINE (AS CREST DEMANDED) THE SOLUTION WHICH I WISH TO UTILIZE IN ORDER TO RID MYSELF OF THESE LAWN GRUB WORMS...

BENEFICIAL NEMATODES!!

HOWEVER, I DO NOT KNOW WHETHER BENEFICIAL NEMATODES WILL PROVE HARMFUL TO NIGHTCRAWLERS AS WELL AS LAWN GRUBS. I DO NOT WANT TO KILL MY BAIT SUPPLY!

OH AND COLONEL CHAOS!

MY WIFE AND I ALSO PLANTED SOME PURPLE POTATOES LAST YEAR. WE WERE LESS THAN IMPRESSED. AS YOU NOTED, PRODUCTION WAS VERY LOW. ALSO, THE FEW POTATOES WE HARVESTED WERE NOT THAT GREAT. ALMOST GRAINY.

WE WILL BE STICKING WITH BROWN OR RED POTATOES AS GOD INTENDED IF WE PLANT POTATOES IN THE FUTURE. THIS YEAR WE PLANTED NONE.. DEDICATED THE FORMER POTATO PATCH TO PEAS. AND YES, WE DO HAVE SOME VOLUNTEER POTATOES COMING UP AMONGST THE PEAS.

All you need to do is keep your fishing gear near the door so that when they crawl in they realize that its better to turn around before becoming bait ;-)