Jack Bauer vs Chuck Noris - Earth Empires Forum

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 12th 2013, 18:34:45

We need some funny quotes either from yourself or copied from other sites.. as long as its funny

-about jack
-about chucky
-about the rivalry

This is a nice one i found on the net

*If Jack Bauer was a Spartan, the movie would be call '1'

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set

Atryn

Member
2149

Nov 12th 2013, 18:58:42

My quote: "Who the hell is Jack Bauer?"

If he has some significance and a rivalry with Chuck, I missed it.

Catchy

Member
248

Nov 12th 2013, 19:01:11

Psh...

If chuck was a Spartan the Persians would have run away leaving no story to make a movie about.

crest23

Member
4666

Nov 12th 2013, 19:24:05

Jack Who? vs Chuck Norris? This is a joke, right?

The only reason we have nighttime is because when ever Chuck Norris looks up, the Sun going into hiding. And you dare compare them?

TNT vs dumbass.

The Nigerian Nightmare.

CHUCK_DANGER

Member
61

Nov 12th 2013, 20:21:27

CHUCK_WHO?

HA!
CHUCK_DANGER
THE MIGHTY CLAN! [DANGER]

Vic

Member
6543

Nov 12th 2013, 20:25:49

Originally posted by Atryn:

My quote: "Who the hell is Jack Bauer?"

If he has some significance and a rivalry with Chuck, I missed it.

Vic

Member
6543

Nov 12th 2013, 20:26:01

Originally posted by crest23:

Jack Who? vs Chuck Norris? This is a joke, right?

The only reason we have nighttime is because when ever Chuck Norris looks up, the Sun going into hiding. And you dare compare them?

TNT vs dumbass.

Vic

Member
6543

Nov 12th 2013, 20:27:46

Mods please close this thread immediately.
Chuck's last name was misspelled. Which in the U.S. and Canada is a Federal Offense

Pontius Pirate

Member

EE Patron
1907

Nov 12th 2013, 20:28:00

hahahahahahah hilarious thread

Originally posted by Cerberus:

This guy is destroying the U.S. Dollars position as the preferred exchange for international trade. The Chinese Ruan is going to replace it soon, then the U.S. will not have control of the IMF

Vic

Member
6543

Nov 12th 2013, 20:29:17

Chuck Norris lifted the U.S. debt ceiling with his pinky finger.

Marshal

Member
32,589

Nov 12th 2013, 20:32:43

spamming not allowed, thread should be deleted.

Patience: Yep, I'm with ELK and Marshal.

ELKronos: Patty is more hairy.

Gallery: K at least I am to my expectations now.

LadyGrizz boobies is fine

NOW3P: Morwen is a much harsher mistress than boredom....

Makolyte

Member
445

Nov 12th 2013, 21:04:45

They once tried printing Chuck's face on currency. The economy collapsed because no one wanted to get rid of their Chuck money.

--------------------------------------------
Alliance: VP of Death Knights
FFA: XI warrior
--------------------------------------------

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 13th 2013, 9:10:40

Keep posting !

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set

Jubrown84

New Member
8

Nov 13th 2013, 13:07:02

Most Children go to bed wearing Superman Pajamas. superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris Pajamas.

Junky

Member
1815

Nov 13th 2013, 13:42:08

There was one person who started a Rivaly with Chuck... no one knows who, Cause Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked him out of existence.

I Maybe Crazy... But atleast I'm crazy.

Xintros

Member
547

Nov 14th 2013, 17:53:51

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

O_o

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a killrrun" - Xintros
https://www.soundclick.com/...efault.cfm?bandID=1381300

ninong

Member
1577

Nov 14th 2013, 18:03:03

Originally posted by Xintros:

i've seen something like that with chuck norris instead :D

ninong, formerly Johnny Demonic
IX

Ruthie

Member
2589

Nov 14th 2013, 18:10:54

wasnt jack bauer the guy on 24? bah, at least chuck is a real person :P

Chuck Norris does not do push-ups. When he pushes, he stays still and the Earth moves down.

~Ruthless~
Ragnaroks EEVIL Lady

Xintros

Member
547

Nov 15th 2013, 14:42:12

Originally posted by ninong:

Originally posted by Xintros:

i've seen something like that with chuck norris instead :D

I'm sure alot of them are X Chuck Norris. ;-)
Not this one though! Chuck is no MURDERER!
Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder.

*huggles Ruthie*

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a killrrun" - Xintros
https://www.soundclick.com/...efault.cfm?bandID=1381300

robyn

Member
182

Nov 15th 2013, 19:48:33

I <3 24 though.. so all Jack Bauer haha

I think maybe he's better looking of the two haha

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 16th 2013, 13:15:11

Originally posted by robyn:

I <3 24 though.. so all Jack Bauer haha

I think maybe he's better looking of the two haha

I agree but posting that in public can be a danger to your health ! RUN !!!!!!

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set

Makolyte

Member
445

Nov 16th 2013, 13:49:20

Originally posted by TNTroXxor:

Originally posted by robyn:

I <3 24 though.. so all Jack Bauer haha

I think maybe he's better looking of the two haha

I agree but posting that in public can be a danger to your health ! RUN !!!!!!

He's already dead.

--------------------------------------------
Alliance: VP of Death Knights
FFA: XI warrior
--------------------------------------------

archaic

Member
7011

Nov 16th 2013, 17:23:39

Waldo is hiding from Chuck Norris

Cheating Mod Hall of Shame: Dark Morbid, Turtle Crawler, Sov

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 17th 2013, 18:39:28

Originally posted by archaic:

Waldo is hiding from Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris play the 'Where's waldo game' He had a picture of multiple grave and he correctly picked the one with waldo buried under it.

Lol i just pluck that one out of my ass

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set

iScode

Member
5718

Nov 17th 2013, 18:51:02

seriouslly??? comparing that fluffy jack guy from 24 to Chuck? And here i was thinking the world could not get more retarded... :(

iScode
God of War

DEATH TO SOV!

Senile Dibs

Member
21

Nov 17th 2013, 22:40:43

If Jack Bauer was born a Spartan, the vultures would have had a kiddie snack on the side of the mountain that day.

so, let me get this straight. the idea of this thread is to compare fictional characters and their fictional abilities in an attempt to shrink Chuck Norris's ego down to their fictional sizes.

i have nothing to contribute that would help with that.

Pinky And The Brain Were Here, but moved on because there isn't any intelligent life left here to even attempt a failure at conquering it.

Senile Dibs

Member
21

Nov 17th 2013, 22:50:24

maybe it would help if i could remember the name of the actor who played the part of Jack Bauer? James Spader?

Pinky And The Brain Were Here, but moved on because there isn't any intelligent life left here to even attempt a failure at conquering it.

archaic

Member
7011

Nov 18th 2013, 1:27:40

I thought it was don knotts?

When zombies bite Chuck Norris, they turn into Chuck Norris

Cheating Mod Hall of Shame: Dark Morbid, Turtle Crawler, Sov

iScode

Member
5718

Nov 18th 2013, 2:26:16

bonus!

iScode
God of War

DEATH TO SOV!

Catchy

Member
248

Nov 18th 2013, 5:34:21

Chuck once fluffed your mom in a semi, he left the used condom in the truck and now we have optimus prime.

robyn

Member
182

Nov 18th 2013, 21:57:58

Originally posted by TNTroXxor:

Originally posted by robyn:

I <3 24 though.. so all Jack Bauer haha

I think maybe he's better looking of the two haha

I agree but posting that in public can be a danger to your health ! RUN !!!!!!

NO running here... I grew up in the 80's all full of chuck :P but im partial to the movie stand by me! Hello Kiefer

Marshal

Member
32,589

Nov 18th 2013, 22:04:54

for robyn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0

robyn

Member
182

Nov 18th 2013, 22:12:08

OMG Marshal.. Have I ever told you how awesome you are :)

Thanks.

Marshal

Member
32,589

Nov 19th 2013, 12:53:39

no. :P

Getafix

Member

EE Patron
3423

Nov 19th 2013, 14:23:59

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of being buried alive is called taphophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called common sense.

CandyMan

Member
708

Nov 19th 2013, 17:50:10

Originally posted by Jubrown84:

Most Children go to bed wearing Superman Pajamas. superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris Pajamas.

Chuck Norris goes to bed with Jack Bauer pajamas.

Xintros

Member
547

Nov 19th 2013, 18:22:06

Originally posted by CandyMan:

Originally posted by Jubrown84:

Most Children go to bed wearing Superman Pajamas. superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris Pajamas.

Chuck Norris goes to bed with Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer goes to bed with a warm gun.

BANG BANG, SHOOT SHOOT! Happiness. :

Edited By: Xintros on Nov 19th 2013, 18:24:08
See Original Post

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a killrrun" - Xintros
https://www.soundclick.com/...efault.cfm?bandID=1381300

Riddler

Member
1733

Nov 19th 2013, 22:37:25

Jack Bauer needs a gun and still can't touch Chuck Norris

Drow

Member
1678

Nov 20th 2013, 2:02:27

ha.
Sir Christopher Lee.
He was Dracula
He was a Bond villain
He was Sherlock AND Mycroft Holmes
He was Death
He was Lucifer
He was Count Dooku
He was Saruman
He was Lord Summerisle
He was Ansem the Wise
He was King Haggard
He was Willy Wonka's Father
He recorded a heavy metal concept album about Charlemagne (at 84 no less)
He hunted Nazis during WWII
He was part of a secret unit called The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
When asked by Peter Jackson to imagine how a man being stabbed in the back sounds, he responded that he didn't have to imagine it
He's fluent in English, German, French, Italian and Spanish;
"Moderately proficient" in Swedish, Russian and Greek;
and "conversational" in mandarin chinese.
Chuck can't top that, even with his fist chin...

Paradigm President of failed speeling

Makolyte

Member
445

Nov 20th 2013, 4:08:39

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck

--------------------------------------------
Alliance: VP of Death Knights
FFA: XI warrior
--------------------------------------------

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 20th 2013, 11:12:21

We need more people posting for Jack! Come on !

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set

Getafix

Member

EE Patron
3423

Nov 20th 2013, 13:23:17

But we've never even heard of Jack Bauer until now. And if Chuck can kick Christopher Lee's ass, and Putin, 8th Dan black belt and csar of the russias, before breakfast, I'm certain Jack Bauer has no hope.

Alin

Member
3848

Nov 20th 2013, 13:34:29

Chuck`s e-mail :
.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Xintros

Member
547

Nov 20th 2013, 14:51:27

Sadly I went through 192 episodes of 24 in about 2 weeks. :-/

A quote and a joke

Q "Charles Logan: A man will say anything under torture, this won't mean a thing.

Jack Bauer: Mr. Logan, I'm not here to torture you, but you are gonna tell what i want to know, or so help me god, I will kill you."

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a killrrun" - Xintros
https://www.soundclick.com/...efault.cfm?bandID=1381300

Xintros

Member
547

Nov 20th 2013, 14:53:02

Originally posted by Alin:

"Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won." <-- Thats a winner! LOLZ

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a killrrun" - Xintros
https://www.soundclick.com/...efault.cfm?bandID=1381300

Drow

Member
1678

Nov 21st 2013, 1:36:56

getafix: Sir Christopher Lee > Chuck Norris. ;)

Paradigm President of failed speeling

Getafix

Member

EE Patron
3423

Nov 21st 2013, 20:44:09

Sir Christopher Lee would be a worthy opponent. I really don't know about Jack Bauer though

blackcougar

Member
50

Nov 21st 2013, 21:21:18

Chuck doesn't shave his beard just shrinks to size as needed.

chuck doesn't sleep but when he does sleeps nude. Jack sleeps in pjs in chuck's likeness

TNTroXxor

Member
1295

Nov 22nd 2013, 16:22:06

Keep posting

*Bumps

Originally posted by JJ23:

i havent been deleted since last set