I HAVE JUST COME FROM AN ALL NIGHT MEETING WITH THE COMMITTEE OF ONE. DURING THIS MEETING IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE EXPLOSION SQUAD IS IN NEED OF A FEW MORE SUPPLICANTS.

AS SUCH, WE HAVE DECIDED TO OFFER MEMBERSHIP IN THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! TO FIVE WORTHY INDIVIDUALS. IN ORDER TO DETERMINE WHO IS BEST SUITED FOR THIS HONOR, WE HAVE DEVISED THE FOLLOWING SCHEME: ALL WHO ARE INTERESTED SHOULD POST AN ESSAY IN THIS THREAD.

YOU HAVE THE FOLLOWING THREE TOPICS TO CHOOSE FROM. CHOOSE WISELY!

"WHY THE PATH OF VIOLENT PACIFISM IS THE ONE TRUE WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT."

"THESE THINGS ENFURIATE ME, AND HERE'S WHY."

OR,

"MY FAVORITE AND LEAST FAVORITE ITEMS ON THE TACO BELL MENU"

QUALIFIED ENTRIES WILL CONSIST OF NO LESS THAN 500 WORDS, AND WILL BE JUDGED ON ANGST, PROPER USE OF THE LETTERS OF POWER, AND PENMANSHIP.

THE TOP FIVE ENTRANTS WILL RECEIVE A COVETED MEMBERSHIP IN THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

VIC THE RESPLENDENT DRAGON, AND INCIN THE HAMMER OF HEROES: YOU HAVE BOTH BEEN GRANTED INVOLUNTARY HONORARY MEMBERSHIP, BUT YOU ARE WELCOME TO SUBMIT AN ESSAY IF YOU FEEL SO RECLINED.

HA!

SAM
CHIEF JUSTICE,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

IS THERE A MAXIMUM WORD COUNT

i sense a high probability that i will participate

NO, THERE IS NO UPPER LIMIT. A 500,000 WORD ESSAY WOULD BE EQUALLY ACCEPTABLE, BUT MAY RESULT IN A DELAY IN THE JUDGING PROCESS.

can we plagiarize? Example, war and peace

I am going to write about "MY FAVORITE AND LEAST FAVORITE ITEMS ON THE TACO BELL MENU". Does the essay need to be written in all caps?

GALLERI: NO, IT IS NOT MANDATORY THAT YOU USE THE LETTERS OF POWER. HOWEVER, IT IS CERTAINLY ENCOURAGED.

INCIN: THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER] HAS NO PROBLEM WITH PLAGIARISM. WE THINK CONSENTING ADULTS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MARRY AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE AS THEY LIKE. WE AGREE WITH YOU THAT SUCH A PRACTICE WOULD MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO KEEP THE PEACE IN A HOUSEHOLD, BUT TO EACH HIS OR HER OWN.

SAM

lol... Oh, DANGER, how I've missed you during my recuperation...

"WHY THE PATH OF VIOLENT PACIFISM IS THE ONE TRUE WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT."

TEDDY ROOSEVELT JUST WON HIS FIRST PRESIDENT'S RACE AT NATIONALS PARK...AND THE NATIONALS WON THE DIVISION, HAVE THE BEST NL RECORD AND THE BEST MLB RECORD. THEREFORE HIS POLICY OF SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK MUST BE RIGHT.

"THESE THINGS ENFURIATE ME, AND HERE'S WHY."

WHEN THE HOT DOG VENDOR RUNS OUT OF LEMONHEADS BECAUSE THESE CANDIES ARE SOLD IN SO FEW LOCATIONS THAT THEY ARE ALMOST COLLECTOR'S ITEMS. DUKE BASKETBALL AND COWBOYS FOOTBALL BECAUSE THEY EXIST. SPEED CAMERAS BECAUSE THEY DON'T IMPROVE SAFETY AND THEY ARE SIMPLY A TAX. INCREASING TAXES BECAUSE I FEEL POOR AND THINK THE GOVERNMENT SEES ME AS A MINI-BEN BERNAKE WHO CAN ORDER THE PRINTING PRESSES ON.

(Oh and I don't want to join, but I like contests).

That's not nearly 500 words Trumper.

I don't see you writing one, if you're going to flame, at least cover your ass, bro :p

MY FAVORITE THINGS AT TACO BELL ARE THE TACO SALAD AND THE MEXICAN PIZZA. THEY CAN TAKE THAT CHULUPA, AND WHATEVER OTHER FANCY CRAP THEY HAVE .... i.e. DORITO WTFE CRAP AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR ARSES. NEXTLY I AM STILL fluffTY THEY TOOK OLIVES OFF THEIR MENUS. AND THEY HAVE GOTTEN CHEAP IN THE SIZE OF THE MEXICAN PIZZA AND TACO SALAD. MATTER A FACT THE JERKS DON'T EVEN CUT YOUR PIZZA INTO 4THS ANYMORE.
THANK GOODNESS THIS IS ONE PLACE I AM SURE THAT WILL NOT BE ON MY PREGNANCY CRAVINGS LIST.

THE END!

HINT FOR RICK:

PART TWO OF YOUR EXAM STARTS HERE!

HA!

SAM

dissident's essay

pen fifteen.

enjoy.

oh wait, i didnt capitalize everything, do i get points docked for not yelling at you?

You ^ come out of closet in order to qualify!

huzzah

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW DO I GET SAM DANGER INTO LAF?!?!?! :lkjfdp((#*$)