Mar 23rd 2011, 15:45:09
Originally posted by Dragon:
Bsnake: Usually, it turns out badly. The problem inevitably isn't her, but him. short of putting him down, even if she leaves him, unless she moves across he planet and makes herself as invisible as possible, he's likely to just track her down and abuse her more.
I agree and disagree there coming from my line of work as a social group educator in a juvenile facility for girls and boys between 12 and 18 yrs of age we see tons of those type of situations (both between juveniles and parents of juveniles). While the male is usually the aggressor the female also allows it to happen repeatedly.
This usually comes from a lack of self respect or a lack of pro-activeness and bad excuses get made up like: "but I know he still loves me".
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying the women who get into these situations are at fault. But to make 2 you need 1 + 1. You need an aggressive male and a passive female. A strong willed and socially skilled woman might have it happen to her once but definitely won't let it to happen to her twice as she'll take a course of action before a second time occurs.
What you do see a lot is that if the one being abused takes no action. The incidents will get heavier with more trauma as the abuser will start pushing boundaries.
Originally posted by Heston:
In my circle of friends, if you put your hands on a female and we find out about it your going to get the fluff beat out of you. fluff calling the cops, that isnt your job it is hers. Bsnake it is your duty as a man to get your crew together and take care of business. NO WARNINGS. NO ASKING THE FEMALE IF ITS OK or telling her whats gonna happen. Set an example, you may lose a friend but your black book will get fatter once the word gets around. 9 times out of 10 she will go back to him anyway.
That's solving violence with violence it never works out well. And while I understand that the stuff we hear can some times piss us off. and if done properly confronting some one verbally about their actions (like abuse) can some times be a lot harder then just getting beaten up. (unless you're dealing with socio/psycho-paths who don't have the empathic ability to see right from wrong :-P)