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jjterrico

Member

711

Jul 18th 2015, 2:37:05

Two peanuts were walking through a park, one was a salted...

Heston

Member

4766

Jul 18th 2015, 5:20:05

What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons

An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't flufftin' me, are you?"

Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn't wearing any panties. "Is it cooler without panties?" they ask. She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
❤️️Nothing but❤️️💯❤️️❤️️🌺🌸🌹❤️❤️💯

Donny

Member

5934

Jul 18th 2015, 7:09:53

What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroking off!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."
ICQ-105967052



Dear Asians who say they're not ninjas just because they're Asian,
That's exactly what a ninja would say.

DruncK

Member

1791

Jul 19th 2015, 13:30:20

Little boy walks to his grandparents house to find his Grandpa sitting on the front porch with no pants on. He asks "Grandpa, Grandpa, what are you doing our here with no pants on?!" Grandpa answers, "Ohhhh its your grandma's fault... Yesterday I was out here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck!"

jjterrico

Member

711

Jul 20th 2015, 16:18:26

How do you make Winnie the pooh angry?
Stick two fingers in his honey.

How do you catch an elephant?
Dig a big hole and fill it with ash, then surround it with peas...when the elephant comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.




Akula

Member

3990

Jul 20th 2015, 19:13:46

she was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still
=============================
"Рабів до раю не пускають"
~Oтаман Запорозької січі, Іван Сірко.

=============================

Heston

Member

4766

Jul 20th 2015, 19:23:08

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy.
❤️️Nothing but❤️️💯❤️️❤️️🌺🌸🌹❤️❤️💯

Twain

Member

3320

Jul 23rd 2015, 2:14:44

Why did Jon Snow wait for 6 hours outside the Apple Store?

For the Watch!

ssewellusmc

Member

2431

Jul 23rd 2015, 2:34:39

Originally posted by Heston:
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy.


As the alter boy is leaving to go home, the priest says, "See you later alligator!" The alter boy replies, "In a while pedophile!"



Whats the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest?

Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years of age.

vern

Member

1074

Jul 23rd 2015, 2:34:39

IMP WAR MACHINE

ssewellusmc

Member

2431

Jul 23rd 2015, 2:43:14

Originally posted by vern:
IMP WAR MACHINE


More like a vacation machine...