Earth Empires now hosts a wide variety of professionals who are available to meet your cyber-work needs. Barbers, accountants, welders, photographers, cops and more.

Consider RAGE the Linked In of Earth Empires - the place to network with the highest quality professionals. Check out our tag if you are looking to hire top notch skilled workers or you could benefit by networking with the best and most innovative players. Rage is where you can connect with Earth Empire's professionals and become more productive and successful. Rage On. :)

http://www.earthempires.com/alliance/clan/ranks/RAGE

Hi, my name is Suicidal, I am here to provide a few pointers:

If you feel the need to blow yourself up, then do it in a secluded place, do it in a place where no one else is around. To kill anyone else in the act of blowing yourself up would be a Suicidal fail. It would then be homicide and thus a major Suicidal foul.

If you feel the need to harm innocent women and children, then immediately find a place where you can be alone and perform the Suicidal act. You would be a hero to society.

Everyone, at some point in their life, will contemplate the act of Suicide. So, if you are having a bad day, or going through a rough period in life, stick around. To actually contemplate Suicide means you have hit rock bottom. A good time to stick around. It can only get better from there. Suicide may be painless to you, but it hurts everyone around you.

If you are of the belief that suicidal homicide will be met with 40 virgins, let me inform you.....they are 40 virgin little boys with ebola. (too soon?)

~Suicidal~

no call girls?

Why is Rage recruiting? They should let SoF recruit for them since they are a subsidy.

Have you thought about your retirement? Looking to sell a house? Do you need some advice on whether to open a UTMA or a Family Trust? If so, come on down and set up an appointment with the Tax Accountant. Many foreign countries have already benefitted from our years of experience andability to tailor tax planning needs specific to their country. We have a special expertise in International taxation, but we can also fill out your 1040 or 1120 forms.

So make sure to look up the tax accountant. Initial consultations and estimates are always free.

-The Tax Accountant

Hmm odd, considering RAGE was founded prior to SoF. Are you sure you dont have that backwards, SoF is subsidy of RAGE. Or maybe RAGE should let MD recruit for RAGE since they were with them not too long ago. Thanks but no thanks, RAGE recruited just fine the last couple of sets all by themself. *shakes his head*

Anyway my professional services have been messaged out to a select few countries. Please do not hesitate to take advantage of these highly skilled services should your country be one of the lucky ones chosen :D

great minds think alike

ok Akula, firstly you referred to Marshal as a great mind? LMFAO

2ndly, I'm offering half price haircuts this week with the purchase of a shave!

The Barber

Recognizing sarcasm and trolling isnt your strong suit... is it?

Anyone care for a sick FB profile pic? How bout myspace (so indie now doe)? Freelance photographer FDF at your services!

*no animals will be harmed in the process
*photos are vegan-friendly
*fedoras are a MUST
*all shoots are free because money is an evil creation of this corrupt capitalist society
*open to all 52 genders and sexes
*color photos available for the non-artistic

Yea you are correct, I suck at trolling.

However what my country does not suck at are the great professional services we provide :D
I sent out a few more messages to select few countries, please respond quickly if you happened to be lucky enough to get one of my messages in-game before our services go up in price. Or you can always contact RAGE here: http://rage.myclanhosting.com/

^ Tired of being unsuccessful at trolling like this guy? Want a better insult than RAGE is SoF jr? Well i am here to help. The Client success specialist will ensure you do not suck as bad as this!

For more information, or to get a free trial of "How To stop sucking and be successful" Check this link out here! http://rage.myclanhosting.com/

The Client Success Specialist

ROFL @ Kaos. Perfect. :)

Had I not felt the total sarcasm, I would have provided you the means necessary to commit Suicide by a sewer side.

Now see recruiting can definitely be a source of deductible expenses. Why don't you schedule an appointment and we can discuss it in greater detail as to its impact on your tax position.

To be fair, you are fluffing terrible at it.

Fordy would know. He's king of suck

-

The "B" ark from Golgafrincham is just the place for you guys. Reserved exclusively for bloodsucking scumbag middlemen such as your good selves it is taking off for some splendid place (elsewhere) any minute now.

We'll miss you. :(

Just leave one of those telephone sanitizers behid this time, will you. Bye. :)

Furious999 I think you need to relax...how about a haircut and a nice hot towel treatment

Sounds good. Bit of local gossip, maybe. And I can get my eyebrows done. :)

sounds good but thats full price...especially as bushy as that thing is....want me to seperate it into two?

Well peeps are sculpting their hair these days. So maybe some motif - "love" on one side; "hate" on the other?

Like these kids do with home made tatoos on the backs of their fingers.

What do you think?

bonus

Furious that's brilliant, gotta get out the good clippers for this one!

Help Wanted:

The Professional Services Department of Rage, a privately owned public services group, is recruiting for Professional Females. Al the words on a resume' are not important, so don't waste your time writing one. Just send pictures. Be prepared to accept sexual harassment. Lesbians will be accepted as well.

Apply to: http://rage.myclanhosting.com/

Alright, alright. Move along people, nothing to see here. Stay behind the yellow tape and go on back to your homes.