Dec 2nd 2019, 7:57:17
Now, obviously, if we were to all name a suicider - there'd be a long list of players both current and retired. Accusations would fly and arguments would be rife. One name, however, stands head and shoulders above the rest. One name has meant more to the moniker of "suicider" than any other in recent history.
One man, one powerful man, has rushed to hell and back to bring many unsuspecting netters complete and utter ruin.
Hellrush of House Slytherin, The First of His Name, King of the Shadows and Loneliness, Warden of The Sneak Attack, The Spider, Bastion of Poor Grammar and Spelling Mistakes, and Keeper of Shaky Logic, hereby declares that there shall be a new clan in town.. one that can unite all of the suiciders under a single banner.. His banner...
The banner of Hellrush's Awesome Crew of Kool Suiciders! (HACKS for short, we might change "Kool" to "Killer" after an internal vote)
The door is open, the welcome mat laid and we've made Salty flavoured Kool Aid for us to down as we toast to a suicidal victory against EVO, Imag, PS, LaF, Monsters, Elders, EVO again, SoF, Mercs and then EVO again. You will know us by our tag, HACKS, and by our Marshal-inspired names like:
> Hellrush hearts Marsha
> Marsh mellows my heart
> Hell thrush in my marshy bits
> That FA guy we all love
Take a look at our criteria for membership - if you think you have what it takes, message me or Hellrush via PM and tell us a dirty secret about yourselves:
1. You must have no more than 3 friends, and only one of them can be IRL
2. You must have played this game long enough to know how to run a country but not so long as to understand why A1 may or may not be hostile to solo players
3. You must wear socks during warchats - I like feet and don't want to be distracted thinking about your wee toesies when we're hitting EVO
4. You must refer to Hellrush as The Right Honourable Hellrush of the HACKS Clan, everyone else must be referred to as Kevin - no exceptions
5. If you're not a fan of the Spice Girls, you're not going to be a member of this clan
HACKS is a place for all of those who listen to "All By Myself" at least once a month just "to get the tears out". We're an egalitarian society ruled by a vicious suicidal dictator and his word is law. Don't come expecting a Top 10 finish, come expecting to make unprovoked hits and ridiculous retal claims. Come with your big girl pants on.
HACKS are coming. HACKS are inevitable.
TL;DR - Me and hellrush are starting a suicide squad and our uniforms are going to be purple velvet tracksuits. hellrush will be along to confirm soon.