About tree fiddy.

I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m very hard of learning.

As the more responsible Hellrush, I really want to impress upon the both of you that it there's still time to find an amicable way to settle this dispute. Josey Wales' suiciding should be condemned as poor form and unnecessary behaviour but then there's two sides to every story.

I truly hope that there's a peaceful resolution to this unfortunate series of events.

But we didn't get accepted to grade 1 either, hellrush. Remember? When everyone else was writing their names down, we were in the corner gluing our hands together with crayons up our nose.

I'm not going to suicide other players this year.

Construct it initially, arrive they just might.

Biggest mothafluffin balls in all of EE. Half of our members compete in the wheelchair sprints at the paralympics.. but there ain't nothing wrong with their legs (if you know what I mean).

You are so difficult to please. :(

You wanted it, you got it - THE MOST ELECTRIFYING TAG IN ALL EARTH EMPIRES ENTERTAINMENT.

The one.. the only.. HELLRUSH'S AWESOME CLAN of KOOL SUICIDERS!

*Applause*

Now accepting: Pact offers, fealty, peen pics and family dinner invites.

Still seeking: New members, old members, and the love and acceptance of the one true hellrush.

Whopper Jr vouchers are still available for those brave enough to tag up HACKS.

Join us as a member or ally today - we're going to MAKE EARTH GAY AGAIN #MEGA!

Come join HACKS. Will throw a sneaky peen in the background of all feet pics.

I do not want to continue this joke. I am not Mac Daddy.

I am Mac Daddy.

As has been consistently demonstrated across numerous threads and boards - no, we do not realize that we're the bully here.

My chat with breeze went swimmingly: https://imgur.com/a/G3JX1hN

@hellrush: Sorry I didn't watch your back, ol' buddy ol' pal.

This is going really well for us, hellrush. I definitely think we're winning in this thread.

You can still come back to HACKS if you want a safe space. xox

We know which tag you're in and we don't trust you not to be a snake.

Plus, your toes are ugly. Please don't share any more pics of your feet.

Send hellrush a picture of your feet and you’re in.

The safe space is anywhere but up on the fence, fatty.

QUICK UPDATE: HACKS now has EIGHT members total! A special welcome to all of those who have seen the light and joined us to do God's work.

Now we have to figure out who wears what hat and which unlucky tag will be our first suicide squad victim.

For those of you sitting on the fence, it's not too late to join us. PM me or hellrush now!

Ps. If you're fat, get off of the fence. It's dangerous for you to be up there.

I know we all love having a boner for bashing Marshal.. but this is my attention-seeking thread.

If I wanted a "Let's Make Fun of Marshal" thread - I'd have made one.

#MEGA

!!

~ Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night ~

Wednesday Nights are Karaoke Nights at HACKS HQ.

The current reigning champ is Hellrush (obviously). His last performance was Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby" which made for a mesmerizing but awkwardly uncomfortable experience.

I think it was the sequinned leotard Hellrush wore that swung it from a spectacular show to something seedy.

Ps. Who do I contact about pacts for HERO #MEFA?

You'll be excluding Marshal.

It's claimed on FFAT that he's not into anal.

Every girl has free lube if you're doing it right.

Clearly you're not doing it right.

cash me ousside, how bow dat?



Yes. We'll drown them in the dandruff of our collective neckbeards.



^ This guy. He gets it.



Gotta love a guy who always has his serious panties on.

You, sir, are not welcome to this pants party. Fun pants only.

Actually, in light of the dubiously timed HERO tag announcement from mrcuban, we at HACKS have decided we have our own hashtag too.

#MEGA

MAKE EARTH GAY AGAIN

Means the same thing as HEROs except ours is “Mega” which sounds way better than “Meh-fah”.

Check fluffing mate, mrcuban.

#MEFA

MAKE EARTH FUN AGAIN

I’ll have you know we are crowdfunding for one of those VPN thingies that Chinese wumao use to get past the Great Firewall so they can post hugely pro-CCP stuff on Twitter whilst avoiding anything to do with Tiananmen Square.

If they can get on Twitter from China, then ol’ Macca can get onto EE from wherever his mom’s basement is.



I’ll kindly ask you to use the application form on our website if you’d like to take up the role as FA for HACKS.

We’ll need references from your last three alliance leaders, an essay of your views on polygamy and a cute pic for our virtual Cutest Clanmate wall.

Negative. I am a meat popsicle.

We’re running a new clan tag here, not a Vietnamese massage parlour.

But we’ll talk to the BK managers on your behalf while you sort your own “front rub” in the restaurant toilets.

Fair compromise?

Where he touches everyone.

In my heart. And in my soul.

Hellrush is love. Hellrush is life.

Wanna join us? We’re offering free Whooper Jr coupons and backrubs for the first ten new members.

You know, once in a while something happens that shakes the very foundations of the world as we know it. So much so that we know that the instant that it happens things will never be the same again. Ours is a game of much history, many players, many clans that have come and gone yet one thing has always endured to be a thorn in the side of those who have persisted with Earth, both 2025 and Empires...

Suiciders.

Now, obviously, if we were to all name a suicider - there'd be a long list of players both current and retired. Accusations would fly and arguments would be rife. One name, however, stands head and shoulders above the rest. One name has meant more to the moniker of "suicider" than any other in recent history.

One man, one powerful man, has rushed to hell and back to bring many unsuspecting netters complete and utter ruin.

Hellrush.

Hellrush of House Slytherin, The First of His Name, King of the Shadows and Loneliness, Warden of The Sneak Attack, The Spider, Bastion of Poor Grammar and Spelling Mistakes, and Keeper of Shaky Logic, hereby declares that there shall be a new clan in town.. one that can unite all of the suiciders under a single banner.. His banner...

The banner of Hellrush's Awesome Crew of Kool Suiciders! (HACKS for short, we might change "Kool" to "Killer" after an internal vote)

The door is open, the welcome mat laid and we've made Salty flavoured Kool Aid for us to down as we toast to a suicidal victory against EVO, Imag, PS, LaF, Monsters, Elders, EVO again, SoF, Mercs and then EVO again. You will know us by our tag, HACKS, and by our Marshal-inspired names like:

> Hellrush hearts Marsha
> Marsh mellows my heart
> Hell thrush in my marshy bits
> That FA guy we all love

Take a look at our criteria for membership - if you think you have what it takes, message me or Hellrush via PM and tell us a dirty secret about yourselves:

1. You must have no more than 3 friends, and only one of them can be IRL
2. You must have played this game long enough to know how to run a country but not so long as to understand why A1 may or may not be hostile to solo players
3. You must wear socks during warchats - I like feet and don't want to be distracted thinking about your wee toesies when we're hitting EVO
4. You must refer to Hellrush as The Right Honourable Hellrush of the HACKS Clan, everyone else must be referred to as Kevin - no exceptions
5. If you're not a fan of the Spice Girls, you're not going to be a member of this clan

HACKS is a place for all of those who listen to "All By Myself" at least once a month just "to get the tears out". We're an egalitarian society ruled by a vicious suicidal dictator and his word is law. Don't come expecting a Top 10 finish, come expecting to make unprovoked hits and ridiculous retal claims. Come with your big girl pants on.

HACKS are coming. HACKS are inevitable.

-------------------

TL;DR - Me and hellrush are starting a suicide squad and our uniforms are going to be purple velvet tracksuits. hellrush will be along to confirm soon.

Great, sounds like we have the makings of a new tag. This should be fun. I'll be FA and you can be whatever you want out of King, Emperor, Grand Pumbaa, Big Brother Hellrush of the Orphaned and Lonely.



We need a janitor. If you know what end of a mop touches the floor, you're in.

Currently enlisting members for: Evo Suicide Squad

Current members:

- Hellrush
- Helllrush
- Kahuna

Anyone else keen?

Remember - I told you Kahuna was keen before this set started. He messaged me thinking I was you (I am, aren’t I?) saying he was keen to fluff fluff up in Alliance.

He wanted to hit imag.

Why am I like this?

I don’t know why I am the way I am. :(

Lol jk I sniff buttholes and think toes are sexy.

Change my mind.

Post Script are bullies.

How in the fluff y'all gon play this game for so long and still not be agreed on when a retal is legit and how long the window lasts for?

1. "Suiciding sucks! It's ruining the game!"
2. "The Mods/Admin should do something about this!"
3. "People should just do something about it themselves."
4. "I have a foot fetish."
5. "What about this dumb idea?" (the idea is dumb)

Lots of whinging going on in this thread.

The community needs to self police when it comes to suiciders - not cry to the mods/admins.

Out the suicider publicly on AT for any and all clans to hit, hire MERCS or someone to kill them for you (if you're a bunch of tree hugging poo-sies like EVO), or just handle your own business and kill them yourselves.

Absolutely, 100% make this entire server unfriendly to suiciders. Stop laughing at other clans who get griefed on then cry when it happens to you later. If you don't step up and own the server as the community of players and clans then don't be a fluffing sook when your goals are kicked out of your hands by some fluffhead player like hellrush.

Have you lot always been a bunch of pansies needing protection from Mom & Dad Mods?

We all wish for a lot of things, my dear.

This is literally the dumbest thing we've ever said.

This is the equivalent of your dumb friend trying to act philosophical when they're high. You're not any smarter for copying and pasting out-of-context facts like they're some sort of unconsidered revelation.

"Raping" in the gaming sense doesn't literally mean the act of forcing a sexual act on someone else, it just means you fluffed them up so bad that murder isn't even horrific enough to describe what you did so you pick something even more reprehensible like rape to illustrate the level of violence you committed.

See how words have different meanings in specific contexts?

Please don't embarrass us again like this, hellrush.

I am well aware that I'm pathetic, thank you very much.

I just don't have very many friends. :(

So THIS is why we are an asshole?

Exactly. Any untags hitting any established clans is an offence to all established clans, regardless of whether they’re retals or not. The server is not for lone wolves. If you’re out here on your own - then you’re a risk of being a suicider. All clans should see untags as threats and deal with them accordingly.

Shut up, you big fluff*. How you go from being the servers baddest, most hated and dangerous player one set to being a Clinton-level cuck the next is beyond me.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game son: https://imgflip.com/i/3e33gr

Edit: The fluffed word begins in P, ends in Y, looks like the word hussy, and is a five-letter word describing how much of a rent boy you've become.

It's worth a first date that gets to second base max. And no under the clothes touching. Over the shirt boob grabs and outside the skirt ass rubbing. Obviously French kissing but don't you leave any love bites that they have to hide at work the next day. That's rude and bad form.

You try anything more than that and I'll suicide on you myself.