Who's ignoring. Posting/Reading AT is like growing old with erectile dysfunction. It just takes longer for me to get there.

So here is response to #1.

"If you were to give 3 pieces of advice to someone who just turned 18, what would they be?"

I wish my advice was universal and could be used for both male and female, but fortunately it's not.

So let's start with the Ladies:

- Enjoy the next 5 years. Do stupid things. Enjoy your easy to maintain body. Don't be a b-itch.

- Don't become a stripper. Stripper's are worse than a domesticated animal. You actually feel bad beating a domesticated animal. The worst part is, they are too stupid to realize how pitiful their lives are.

- Get ready for a life of challenge. If you want to be successful, work hard and put up with a lot of crap. However, the hardest job on the planet is being a mother. Don't feel inferior if you choose the route of a stay at home wife/mother. Most successful women usually have to spend a lot of time with a full mouth.

For the Men.

- That girl you're with or want to be with is not the one. Ya...I know there are stories of high school sweet hearts, but you don't want to be one of those poor bastards. So don't take it seriously. You're probably going to mess it up. Not to mention she's dumb, this goes for most women under the age of 25. They can't help it. Hormones.

- Spend time with your friends. You aren't going to hang out with them forever. Unless you start to fancy one of them and you move to MA like Trife and I did. That is a whole different set of tips (ha ha tip) that you are going to need/require/insert/penis.

- Last, but definitely not least. Stick it in everything you possibly can (WEAR PROTECTION). Quality is not necessarily better than quantity. I am a firm believer that three 3's do equal one 9. Mind you, it should be done at the same time and never talked about. Careful of the hooves. There are a ton of ways to accomplish this. Please find a list of the following I have found to work: Lying. Money. Booze. Degradation. Using the three words (also see "lying"). Things that are not as important but do help. Good looks. Chloroform. Sense of humor. Chloroform. A mixture of everything.

For example: *Enter into bar* *Spot female* *Approach* Repeat the following "Hey fatty, I think I might be in love with you. Let me buy you a drink, please hold my money wad".

Hope this helps. This might not apply to you or help you in any way, but I was taught to plan for the majorities not for the exceptions.

I will follow up with the answers to the other two at a later date.